Understanding Gender - Men's mind

In the last article that i wrote, I focused on how to decode Women’s feelings .This time so as to make justice, i am going to help women understand men’s mind. Even though the platform for both the genders lies in Love, the way they express it is completely different. Now let me break down the complex theory behind the functioning of Men’s mind.

Hard Nut with A Soft Heart!

In most of the relationship the biggest problem lies in understanding each others feelings. The proverb “Appearances are always deceptive” stands correct with men.. Even though men look tough and macho on the outside, on the inside they are the ones who crave for attention from their loved ones the most. A best understandable way to put this is, Men in love are like a small puppy. When u are with them giving all your attention to them ,they feel happy and when u leave them alone, they will go to a corner and whine or do something irrational(Like breaking or tearing things in case of puppies and in case men, arguing and fighting without reasons) to catch your attention. So whenever your guy does the above, it means he is craving for your attention.

Once In A Blue Moon

One thing that most women don’t understand is that men too have expectations to be surprised by their loved one. Well, not very often but men do expect to be surprised once in a blue moon. The surprises need not necessarily be gifts but it could be something which he never expected you to do but wanted you to do (Like, you doing the planning for a date with him, going with him to a ball game, Holding his hands, A hug or a kiss when he never expected).These kind of surprises can make a man feel very happy. After all love is all about making each other feel special right?

Possessive and Protective!

When it comes to relationship, men tend to become very possessive and protective. As a result they try to block things out of the way which they feel might come between them and their loved ones. A man in love always prefers to be his woman’s one and only care taker and comforter. When someone else tries to take that position of his ,he gets possessive and protective by not allowing anyone to get near his woman. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t trust you.The actual meaning behind this is he loves you so much and is not ready to share your love and affection with anyone.

Emotions Are Human

In the ages of Kings, Men use to hide their emotions so as not to make their weeping wives feel much more miserable when they leave for war. And from then till now the society in which we live in have followed the same picture and have forced men to hide their emotions making them look like they are void of emotions. But the truth is like women, men too have emotions. Do you know when a man in Love feels pathetic and helpless? its when the woman he loves fights with him and puts on her short face and abandons him for a while makes him devoid of her love. Yes, men are physically strong but mentally fragile. Men don’t have the luxury of crying to vent out their emotions like women do, so they used an alternative to vent out their emotions and that alternative is Anger. So if your man is displaying anger, it means he is venting out his emotions.

Bottomline :

Men are like small babies. so as long as you shower them with your love and keep them in the shade of your affection, they will be smiling and happy.

The more you understand their love and recognize the efforts, the more they tend to change in order to keep you happy.

By,

Shriram Srinivasan

Secrets Of Enjoying Love and Keeping Breakup Away!

(Copy Pasted Article)

It seems like everyone is breaking up! Move-outs, divorces, bust-ups are everywhere. But if you look past the people throwing plates across the kitchen, perhaps right next door - there are plenty of couples who are staying together for as long as they both shall live.

The thing is, longevity has a lot going for it. First, it grounds you in a world full of change. This leads to greater productivity and better overall happiness. Again and again, studies show that being in a long-term stable relationship brings joy and contentment. Many believe we are literally made to share our lives with one other person. So why is it so hard?

Well, it's counter to the ego. The ego wants to isolate, criticize and dominate. Most relationships don't last very long if two egos are running the show. So swallow your pride and give in to love. Then make it last by following these four steps.

1. Ebb and flow
A few years with the love of your life and you may find yourself in a lull of passion, connection and even basic respect for your partner. This is just as temporary as the high you had when you first met. And it will pass. Most relationships follow a "darkest before the dawn" kind of pattern. Things must become painful for both people to grow through their intimacy fears and reach out to their partner.

A romantic life-commitment partnership is like two spinning orbs of lights rebounding off each other. Each time they connect, they shine brighter as one. But the cost to make that connection is to face and walk through fear. Your only choice is where you are going to reach for connection. By reaching in to the relationship, you affirm the relationship. By reaching out of the relationship (isolating, obsessing on hobbies, over-working, looking for sexual gratification from others) you are denying your relationship. The relationship is still there - you just have to turn toward it. This is the ebb and flow of human intimacy.

The ability to stick around as your partner turns away from the relationship is the essence of longevity. Because just as you will have to exercise loving patience for your partner, they will exercise loving patience for you. No couple that has been together for a long amount of time says that every day was paradise. But what they do say is that when times weren't good, they turned to each other to get through.

2. Communicate!
Love means never saying, "You always___." Love allows both people to have a different reaction to each other and the world. Love always gives someone another chance to connect. So before you go to, "I would communicate but my partner always ignores me/ argues / leaves the room / doesn't understand, etc." you must try again. An intimate connection to another person is a deeply sacred calling.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking it's up to your partner to communicate with you. Most relationships have one person who naturally communicates better than the other. So if you feel like you always go first, good! Go first. Even if you are not the "talkative one," if you are ignoring a call to speak, you are cosigning for communication breakdown. Seek out couple's counseling if you don't feel emotionally safe talking out some issues. There's a sense of "leveling the field" when you can talk in front of an impartial third party.

3. Nurture sex
Then there is a pure language of love, which does not have words. This is the sexual connection you feel for your partner. Sexual intercourse doesn't have to be the goal, but touching and hugging, complimenting and overall physical contact needs to be the ongoing communication that comforts both parties through the verbal communication. So sometimes, even if you are mid-process of locking horns, quiet yourself and reach out to touch and comfort your partner. And if this does lead to great lovemaking - that's one more perk to longevity!

4. Reverence
Most of us can recall our resentments very quickly and relay details as though it were yesterday. But when it comes to gratitude, we have one-day amnesia. The gratitude you felt yesterday is the empty space of today. You must actively list the things you love about your life and your life-partner. It can be as simple as enjoying the smell of your partner on your pillow, the familiarity of your shared home, the memories of happy times together. A long-term relationship is like our health - we take it for granted until it deteriorates. And if you really want to feel the divine connection, read your list to your partner. A relationship is about sharing, so share it.

The value of your relationship is only determined by the way you value it. So if you feel like you are drifting away, put your connection to your partner before everything else. The relationship can only benefit from your renewed commitment to it. So start with you. Love has a way of spreading. So if you want more, give more. Chances are, you'll discover that the love you are looking for is already there.

by

Moira McMahon

Understanding Gender - Women's mind

After a long month its good to be back.This time we are going to discuss a very interesting topic. I took up this topic as an attempt to help the guys out there who have a hard time interpreting their loved ones feelings. I have seen guys breaking their heads trying to understand what their women are actually trying to say. Well this week we will learn how to decrypt the women's feelings.

Doesn't Mean the Way It Sounded

one basic thing that we guys have to understand is that women and men think differently. It has been scientifically proved that women are emotional being while men are instinctual beings. so both men and women have a huge unbridged gap between the way their minds work.A women in love will always put her lover before her needs. women basically try to hide their likes and train their mind not to expect anything so as to avoid the disappointments in case if their guys don't do what they expect.The good example is every women like Flowers but still when their lover asks them they say that they don't like flowers and its a waste of money.

Eyes Speaks Heart's Language

Still it remains a challenge for most of the guys to understand the reason for their lover's dissatisfaction even after doing what their lover asked to. If you have the same problem,let me ask you this."Have you ever tried reading a women's eyes when they say something??".Because the answer for your problem lies in this. Yes, very classical and effective method of decoding women's feeling lies in the guy's ability to read their eyes. Its a beauty in God's creation is that women's eyes speaks their true feelings even when the words from their mouth means the opposite.Their eyes tells you the exact truth that their heart holds even if they try to hide it from their guys. Be it love or anger or disappointment or attraction or lust or expectancy or care or any x y z, you can read the truth from their eyes.


Surprises are their Christmas

Believe me or not,there is nothing that could make a women happy and satisfied better than a good old surprise from their lover. Its in the nature of women to expect their loved ones to do things for them without having to ask.Lets get back to the flower example.When a women speaks about something that she likes she has this spark in her eye even if the words from her mouth says otherwise! In most of the cases women wont directly ask for something.They just give cues and its the duty of us guys to pick up the cues and surprise them.The better you pick up the cues and surprise them the more happier your women would be.

To make you guys understand let me give a example for one such cue.Imagine a situation when your women tells " I saw a pink dress today at ABC store and it looked so gorgeous.I wasn't able to take my eyes of it ".Well this is one such cue which means i loved that dress and wish i could own them.Then if you buy her that same dress as a surprise, even though if she says "Why did you get it?I didn't ask you to buy it.It is costly",deep down in her she would be bubbling with happiness and flying in the air that you understand her needs.


Love and Embracing Makes a day

Most of the women on the face of this earth are very sensitive creatures of the God. Its a general opinion that women like money better, but how far is this true??Only a 10% percent of it is true. yes, mostly the women in a relationship give minimum weightage to how their guy looks or behaves or how successful he is, because for a women all that matters most is how well the guy treats them and how much he loves them.

When your woman tells you about the problems and tensions that she faced during the day, she doesn't not expect you to help her out with it or something, but she expects you to be little compassionate and caring by heeding ears to her and say few comforting words like "I am here for you baby".Even a hug and kiss would help a lot. Next time when your woman says "I had such a such a problem...It was a worst day of my life...nobody is here to care for me..."and the sentence of such kinds try saying "Come to me baby or darling" or go to her and give her a hug and a kiss on her lips and then say that you are here for her. After that see the smile on her face.She will forget the rough day that she had altogether. As women are very sensitive, all the words that their guy speaks have big impact on them. So to keep them happy and motivated and felt recognized,appreciate her efforts and thank her(Be it a good meal or cleaning the house or exercising to stay in shape).So as you now know how to decode a woman's feeling ,its in your hand to make a relationship happy and love filled.

Bottomline :

Women are like a calm water,even a small force(words,be it good or bad) can cause numerous ripples.

Either the increase or decrease in love they have on you is directly proportional to how much you care for them and embrace them.



By,
Shriram Srinivasan

Simple and easy way to happiness In a Relationship

The problem which we are going to address today is a very common one that has a highest record for creating misunderstandings, fights and sometimes have even proved to be the starting factor for a break up!. The general complain/problem in most of the relationship is "He/She doesn't spend enough time with me!I feel unloved and unimportant because of it".To find a solution for the problem that would last in your heart forever, let me take you to the fundamentals.When a man and a women walk into a relationship,its not because they are tired of spending time with their friends or family but to find a person,a special person for themselves whom they could turn to,expect to care,share and nurture.One may wonder,when the concept of relationship appear to be so simple why it is so difficult to hold everything together to make it a fairy tale?

That's because in this fast moving world people hardly find time to relax or spend it romantically.But let me remind you all,the reason we earn,we eat,we live is to have a life.And where will we find tat happiness if we get lost in pursuit of making money??
Lets get back to the topic, a relationship can be very much alive and filled with love if you are willing to spend just 30 minutes out of 1440 minutes per day.But the problem remains tat 90% of couples find it hard to spend tat 30 minutes.Basically there are 2 category of people in a relationship which is haunted by the above problem.One who is always busy with his work,not getting time to spend time with their partner and the other who always longs to spend time with their partner but never gets enough attention.This small problem creeps in makes enough space for hatred and anger by driving the love out of your heart.But let me also tell you this,the mistake is not one sided.You heard me,Its not one sided.Not spending time with your partner and also not asking your partner to spend time with you is a mistake.One could ask,"why do i have to ask?Can't they just understand without asking?"But the reality is most of us out there doesn't actually realize tat we are actually being so absorbed to work.Listen to me, there is nothing wrong in asking the person whom u love and who you feel is yours to show little more attention.On the other hand,for the people who don't find time to spend with their partner my sincere advice is, even though you work this hard and earn to keep your partner happy, its not going to make them happy.Instead spend some time with them,hold their hands,tell them tat you love them and tat you are working this hard for them and suddenly you will find them very understanding and supporting rather than shooting fireworks at you.Communication is all that is required.

The most rarest thing that you can find in this world is a heart that truly loves you and believe me,nothing in this world would compare to love, not even a ship full of money.A healthy dose of understanding and sacrifice from both the partners is all tat takes to make a relationship a fairy tale one.

Bottomline : Those who are too busy to spend time with their loved ones just try to find atleast little time to spend romantically rather than wasting lot of time fighting and worrying later.

Those who are too hesitant to ask for attention from their loved one,just try to open your window and throw out the ego and shyness and feel free to ask your partner to spend time.Afterall they are your love.

Remember,relationships are like plants.They will grow to be a tree and bear fruits only if you are willing to spend time to guide them,nurture them.Otherwise they will dry and die.

By,
Shriram Srinivasan