details of this feeling which we call as possessiveness we can find a very elegant meaning "You are mine". If the feeling of possessiveness has such a beautiful meaning then where lies the problem to derail the peace and happiness in the relationship?The answer for the above question is what we are going to see today.
Everything is Fair in Love
Like i have been saying from my first post, love is not a child's play. Its a beautiful feeling that we develop for a person over time which involves care and commitment. All of us on the face of this Earth long to find a person who would love us for whom we are.
Finding that right person for us out of the millions of people that we meet is the biggest miracle that could happen in our lives.Fortunately we have met that destined person of our life and we have fallen head over heals in love with that person.Everything is perfect with the passion and love sizzling.Its a human Instinct to protect something that they feel is rightfully theirs without thinking about the ways involved and that is what we call as possessiveness.
Liberated Souls
All the above said are just one side of the coin. The other side has its own stories and justification. In the world of relationship there is a another class of people those who like to have their personal space.Even though they love their partner so deeply in their heart they prefer to have some freedom to do what they want to do and enjoy themselves.
This kind of people are whom we call as "liberated souls".The people who belong to this class feel good and happy only when they are let to have their space. Whoever who try to control these kind of people by force will find their efforts to be futile.Again here with these people we have another human nature at play.These kind of people tend to defend their freedom with everything that they have even if the person who is trying to control them are their parents.
Meet Of The Coin's Two Faces
Now as we know about the two mindsets of the people,i believe it would be easy to drill down to the core of the problem.When the bond of relationship is developed between two people belonging to the same class, there would be hardly any chances of misconception.But that doesn't happen often.So Lets address the massive population of people like us who have a partner from the other side.
Imagine a person who is so protective over the person whom they love and the person who is so inclined to defending his freedom form the bond of love. After a few months into the relationship,one of the partner would be trying to be protective over their love and not letting anyone else (Not even friends) to harm that happy relationship(eg :Always trying to spend time with their partner ) while the other would be bitterly trying to defend the potential threat to the loss of their freedom to do what they want(eg: Not getting time to do what they want to do).Slowly the friction arises and the more they try to protect and defend the more the friction grows.At certain point the friction would be so high that it would have generated a fire that would burn down all the love between the partners.
Lubrication For Friction
Possessiveness is not that bad of a problem as we all think.A simple antidote for this is just pure Love.With love comes understanding and sacrifice,with understanding and sacrifice comes more love.As i usually say, in a relationship communication is important.Try to put down your swords and armors and try to open up to your partners about how you feel.Remember that they are the same old person with whom you madly fell in love and not your arch rivals.Stop defending yourself when they are telling you about how they feel if you truly want to know what they feel.
After heeding ears to your partner, think to yourselves about how much you value your partner's feeling and make a few little sacrifices and see.When they see the difference in you, they will understand your effort and love for them and they will try to do few sacrifices for you restoring the peace and happiness in the relationship.Remember, both protectiveness and personal freedom is good only when it is within their limits.
Bottomline:
"Possesiveness is a beautiful feeling if you learn how to exhibit and feel it."
People who are protective remember that giving some freedom to your partner is not going to hurt your relationship.If they haven't liked you then they wouldn't have got into a relationship with you in the first place.
People who crave for personal freedom remember that there is a person who loves you more than how much you love your freedom.So respect their love and try to be considerate to their needs.
By
Shriram Srinivasan
Like i have been saying from my first post, love is not a child's play. Its a beautiful feeling that we develop for a person over time which involves care and commitment. All of us on the face of this Earth long to find a person who would love us for whom we are.
Finding that right person for us out of the millions of people that we meet is the biggest miracle that could happen in our lives.Fortunately we have met that destined person of our life and we have fallen head over heals in love with that person.Everything is perfect with the passion and love sizzling.Its a human Instinct to protect something that they feel is rightfully theirs without thinking about the ways involved and that is what we call as possessiveness.
Liberated Souls
All the above said are just one side of the coin. The other side has its own stories and justification. In the world of relationship there is a another class of people those who like to have their personal space.Even though they love their partner so deeply in their heart they prefer to have some freedom to do what they want to do and enjoy themselves.
This kind of people are whom we call as "liberated souls".The people who belong to this class feel good and happy only when they are let to have their space. Whoever who try to control these kind of people by force will find their efforts to be futile.Again here with these people we have another human nature at play.These kind of people tend to defend their freedom with everything that they have even if the person who is trying to control them are their parents.
Meet Of The Coin's Two Faces
Now as we know about the two mindsets of the people,i believe it would be easy to drill down to the core of the problem.When the bond of relationship is developed between two people belonging to the same class, there would be hardly any chances of misconception.But that doesn't happen often.So Lets address the massive population of people like us who have a partner from the other side.
Imagine a person who is so protective over the person whom they love and the person who is so inclined to defending his freedom form the bond of love. After a few months into the relationship,one of the partner would be trying to be protective over their love and not letting anyone else (Not even friends) to harm that happy relationship(eg :Always trying to spend time with their partner ) while the other would be bitterly trying to defend the potential threat to the loss of their freedom to do what they want(eg: Not getting time to do what they want to do).Slowly the friction arises and the more they try to protect and defend the more the friction grows.At certain point the friction would be so high that it would have generated a fire that would burn down all the love between the partners.
Lubrication For Friction
Possessiveness is not that bad of a problem as we all think.A simple antidote for this is just pure Love.With love comes understanding and sacrifice,with understanding and sacrifice comes more love.As i usually say, in a relationship communication is important.Try to put down your swords and armors and try to open up to your partners about how you feel.Remember that they are the same old person with whom you madly fell in love and not your arch rivals.Stop defending yourself when they are telling you about how they feel if you truly want to know what they feel.
After heeding ears to your partner, think to yourselves about how much you value your partner's feeling and make a few little sacrifices and see.When they see the difference in you, they will understand your effort and love for them and they will try to do few sacrifices for you restoring the peace and happiness in the relationship.Remember, both protectiveness and personal freedom is good only when it is within their limits.
Bottomline:
"Possesiveness is a beautiful feeling if you learn how to exhibit and feel it."
People who are protective remember that giving some freedom to your partner is not going to hurt your relationship.If they haven't liked you then they wouldn't have got into a relationship with you in the first place.
People who crave for personal freedom remember that there is a person who loves you more than how much you love your freedom.So respect their love and try to be considerate to their needs.
By
Shriram Srinivasan
Posts
very well researched! i think in a relationship there is always two things to always consider upon - trust and
ReplyDelete- communication.
both directly proportional to each other.
btw tnx for ur coments on my blog :)
nice work!!!I kinda had a similar problem in life because of possessiveness. . .Very helpful writing..Keep up with ur work. . .Might Follow ur blog too. . .
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