To Confess Or Not To Confess?

This week we are going to discuss about one of the most pestering questions that keeps running in most of our minds. Mainly this is a predominant question in the minds of people who are in a relationship. Most of us out there feel "why to risk it when everything is perfect?" but let me tell you,relationships are not just about uttering cheese ball words and maintaining a good physical intimacy.Well all those are there but when it comes to a true relationship it mostly about accepting your partner for whom they are. The strength of the true relationship is put to acid test only during the confession of the partners. But however strong the bond of relationship is,it has proved to have fallen in most of the cases during confession.Because of the good track record of failures there is a famous say tat goes "Confession is good for your soul but bad for your relationship!" All these have created a general fear among people whether to confess to their partner or not?Do not Panic! The mistake doesn't lie in part of confession but it rather lies in the timing of the confession. Yes, you heard me.Its the timing of confession which acts as the main factor in the outcome.
From here on i am going to divide the part of article which is about to follow into two. Readers are welcome and suggested to read both the parts even if one of the part is not for them.

For Those who want to Confess about their past : The people who are thinking about confessing to their partner are the ones who undergo maximum torment by the haunting thoughts in their head. If you fall under this section then i am sure that you have shipload of questions kicking in.Let me phrase a general few of them.
"Will my confession spoil my relationship?", "Wat if i don't confess?then there is no chance of he/she to get mad at me,right?", "Am i the only wrong doer?why should i alone confess?". But never let any of these question mislead you.I will give the good reasons why you should confess,

1) You love your partner and you don't want to hide anything from him
2) Believe me, he/she would feel much more worse when the same truth about you comes from someone else.
3)You will come over guilt and have a peace of mind.
4)You will get the chance to know who your partner is and how much his/her love is, when it comes to the part of accepting your mistakes.

But as i told you before,confession can be fatal without few observations.Try to analyse the following before you jump into the confession.

1)Analyse the seriousness of the matter which you are trying to confess.
2)If its serious never throw the whole lot at his/her face(Major mistake which people do) rather start it as a general discussion and later slowly tell him tat you had a similar experience in your life(Give him just an outline).If he/she is interested in knowing it (in a caring way)then slowly unwind it bit by bit.
3)Never start the confession when your partner is already struck with other day to day tension and problems.
4)Explain him the situation in which the mistake happened and how bad you feel about it.
5)Tell him how much you love him and assure him tat it wont happen again.
6)Give him sometime to handle it.

For those who takes confession: A simple truth in life is none of us r perfect.Humans are prone to mistake.Whether be it a small mistake or a big mistake,mistakes are always mistakes. The fact that you didn't commit a similar mistake or haven't committed a mistake that would measure up to your partner's mistake doesn't make you any better.Don't get me wrong, i am not saying tat making mistakes are right but what i am trying to say is "give your partner a chance".Its quite normal to get angry when your partner confesses to you about their mistakes in their past but how well you handle your anger and how well you try to analyse their confession by putting yourself in your partner's shoes speaks out how much you value your love for that person.Few things that i would like to share with you and want you to remember are

1)Confession takes a great deal of courage than to commit the mistake
2)Confession shows how much love that person has for you and how much they value your relationship.
3) Shows your partner's belief on u tat you will understand their situation.
4)Confession shows that your partner is truthful to you and are ready to face the consequences rather to hide it from you and cheat you.

"How to handle confession?" is the next question because almost everyone is bad at it. To handle confession all you need is pure love.Remember the following

1)Listen to what they say without showing any sign of anger.
2)Appreciate their confession and let them know that you need sometime to work on it.
3)Sit and think about the good times you had with your partner and the sacrifices and other things that they have done for you.
4)Don't tell them what they have done is wrong because they already knew it and thats why they are confessing it to you.
5)Realise that they are confessing to u only cos they love u and are ready to accept their mistake and rectify it.
6)Try to forget and forgive their mistakes even if it takes time and try to comfort them.

Forgetting your partner's mistakes and accepting them for whom they are makes you Godlike and strengthens their love for you.

Bottomline: Remember none of us are perfect.Whoever you have met so far in your life and whoever you are about to meet are sure to come with a past and it not necessary tat everyone has a beautiful past like yours.All of you in a relationship,try to encourage and motivate your partner to share their past with you.Relationships yor all about accepting your partners for who they are at the present and let their pasts fly with the wind.

True love is not about how well u enjoy with your partner during good times but rather how well you understand them and stand with them offering your support during the hard time.

Confession is good for your soul and relationship with proper timing and sense involved.

Life is too short to live on the past and neglect a rare true love that you have in the present.Afterall life is all about second chances.


By,
Shriram Srinivasan